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The Brag, Issue 181, 16 October 2006

 

PARIS

Paris Hilton

Warner Brothers

1/2 *

Review by Jonno Seidler

Perhaps this abomination of a CD would have fared better had it been marketed as "One Night In Paris - The Soundtrack". Because, with the exception of some overproduced beats, all Paris comes down to is a whole lot of oversexed moaning and some other noises which only make sense with night vision videos. Meanwhile, Scott Storch (who, conveniently, is name dropped every ten seconds), has a hell of a lot to answer for in order to regain any semblance of credibility.

So can Ms Pornstar Paris sing? Well, she can carry a tune, but if that's enough to score a record deal these days I should be scouting my nine-year-old sister to EM1. Tracks like 'Screwed' are typical Max Martin produced power-pop, but without the balls. It's like Pink on a high dose Ritalin, which really isn't anything to be applauded. The best (and that means, best of the worst) the hotel heiress can muster is a cutesy cover of 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy', the kind of karaoke-bar-meets-brothel tripe that only somebody this untalented would opt to re- record.

See, there's a one good thing about the Paris Hilton record. It makes for an awesome Frisbee. Which is about as useful as it gets, really.